I want to lead a happy life

I just woke up and had a little fresh air after i opened my window. The afternoon heat that shines into my room is always so unbearable. It always makes me feel even more depressed. I've been really lazy for the past few weeks as you can see, i've been posting photos and more photos. I think i'm just hiding my world by putting up pictures instead of brainstorming on what i should write. It's really easy to post them up. But i finally found out that there are alot more in my life. I'm restricted to write only certain things because some people who are not suppose to know my blog knows. Yes! You! I'm currently struggling in between 2 blogs. One which i can really write about the real me and my real feelings. Not that people who are reading my blog are invading my secrets. What's the point of having a blog when i can't write my true feelings in it. I guess recently i've been too close for comfort and i finally woke up. Life isn't as simple, but one thing that i'm sure of is that i'm at least living for God. Though my daily life is just roaming around aimlessly and blogging, i know for sure i'm going to heaven if i die. So it doesn't matter even if i'm not living my life to the fullest. According to the world's aspect, fullest means getting all A's for studies, making big money every second and singing through the happy hours. But what i've discovered is, i can live just to go to church every sunday. Meet those khakis, have lunch, get cosy and worship. Other than that, i think the happiest moment in my life in the current stage is when i'm up for youth band. Not for the fame, but when i can make music with my own fingers, and when my part adds on with the others to create a complete song, that's when i'm the happiest. School, is meaningless to me. Infact it has been such a dread to step into it ever since i first went in. With the nasty teachers and disgusting food that i have to bare for 5 days a week, it's difficult to survive really! I can't believe how i got through these 6 years. You know how much i want time to fly right now? I still have 5 more months to go, but i'm dying end it right here, right now. I know how to lead a happy life. But at the rate i'm going, it's never gonna come soon. I want to lead a happy life! This much <--------------------------------------------> I'm not writing for sympathy, but i need to express myself. If not i gonna explode and become one of those sor sor's. I'll stop the japan pictures for a day. =)