Last resort

This is my second time attempting to blog as i did a crappy job trying to blog a poem thinking that it's effortless during the afternoon. I just came home after having dinner with leah. She is really an encouragement towards me not because she is taking her o level maths with me at her age but it's more of the accompany i have from her other than those who are actually younger than me. Sometimes i really think it's a disgrace that i'm still stuck in a secondary school getting really demoralized. I need to get out of this sucky school. It's so miserable till it's beyond my paitence. I use to feel alright everytime i go to school last year eventhough i wasn't as hardworking as i was suppose to be. There were lots of entertainment from people around and life was just great. All i had to pass was 3 subjects to make it up. Everything has changed ever since this year. Just thinking of where i'm heading to after this year makes me sick. Entering jc is fat hope. Poly won't take me in without my maths and i'm reluctant to go into ite. Do i really have to go to adelaide in the end? I'm not so sure yet but i guess that's the only way out. My biggest dilemma is between parting from my mum and friends, and going over there to make my life useful when i come back. These 2 choices seem equally favorable and mutually exclusive. Is this my last resort?