The uncertainty is killing me

I'm back infront of my screen after a hot shower on a hot day. Coming to think of my life, it's really no life. I'm stuck in the middle of no where. I don't know what's going on and to add on, i feel a sense of uncertainty in me. Maybe it's because i merely denote a lack of assurance. Most people claim that the saddest thing that can ever happen to a person is when someone dear to you pass away. I somehow visualize that the saddest thing that can happen to a human being is when you feel hopeless and that you want to perish. Just dissappear. But you can't, and you don't have the guards to make it happen. I'm seriously feeling that now but i don't think i'll do anything stupid. God says i'm here for a reason.I just have to wait for Him to show me.